Feelings II.

by living-glass

[never good enough pt. 2]

How do you value self-worth? 
Through the gradient of the colours in my eyes when they are wide open,

Through the way the nails of my fingers crave to tear each others’ skin apart, 

Or perhaps through the subtle glare in my eyes as I peer into the world using a microscope?

How do you value self-worth?

By desperately tugging on the strings of my heart, refusing to let go,

By pointing a gun to my head with the trigger inching steadily towards my thumb, 

Or maybe by the way my hands trail along each imperfection of this living body as I stare at my own reflection? 

How do you value self-worth?

Using the extent of my happiness or the rarity of my smile,

Using the moments my heart wrenched to see him decide to smile elsewhere because my soul was no longer present,

Or possibly using the number of times I dashed miles ahead only to unknowingly fall into an abyss? 

How do you value self-worth?

My worth is not worthy of money’s name to be used in vain,

My worth is not deserving of gold fonts and capital letters, 

My worth is not qualified for warm hugs on rainy days and kisses across my wrist. 

How do you value self-worth?

Because the truth is, 

I can’t.